"My friend George is a
radio announcer and when he walks under a bridge you can't hear him
talk."
Steven Wright
"The main thing that sets
man apart from the rest of the animals is we're not afraid of vacuum
cleaners."
Jeff Stilson
"If joggers could jog at
the speed of light, could they still hear their walkmans?"
Jeff
Marder
"Slow has got four letters. So has life. Speed
has got five letters. So has death."
Sign along the
Dajeling-Himalayan Railway in India (which stops at the highest station
in Asia)
"When you ask the army to detain, disarm, and
disable people, you are going way beyond what the military role should
be."
Casper Weinberger
Former Secretary of Defense
"Military involvement in law enforcement is one of the trademarks of
repressive regimes."
Phil Gutis, ACLU
"All of
man's difficulties stem from his inability to sit quietly at home."
Blaise Pascal
"Tell a big enough lie often enough and
people will believe it's true."
Joseph Goebbels
Third Reich
Minister of Enlightenment and Propaganda
"If I were to
select a jack booted group of fascists who are perhaps as large a danger
to American society as I could pick today, I would pick BATF. They are
a shame and a disgrace to our country."
Rep. John Dingell, (D)
"Did you know that the odds against there being a bomb on a plane
are a million to one? And the odds against there being 2 bombs on a
plane are a million times a million to one? So the next time you go on
board a plane, cut down the risk - always take a bomb."
Benny
Hill