Dear Editor,

I want to thank Dr. Mason for assuring me that there are no longer any real problems to solve. The times are so copasetic that I will have to look for problems. And from the flavor of the article I can assume that any questioning of the established status quo is akin to believing the sky is falling. It would be foolish to wonder if a major corporate entity would use glue on food that was never approved for human consumption and might be harmful. As all of the trouble has been attended to by our omni moral business leaders we need fear nothing, and to ask about possible health problems is somehow indicative of low intelligence.

Because Mr. C. Little was wrong about the sky falling, and there was according to Dr Edel, no problem with the glue or the plastic in the apple label, we can be assured that there are no problems inherent with the wholesale introduction of carcinogens in the form of herbicides and pesticides into our food chain? For those of us who doubt that there are no problems to solve there is a corporate risk manager available at all times, Mr. F. Loxy. Its Mr. Loxy’s job to assure us that not only is the sky not falling, there are no problems left in the world.

The multi-national military industrial corporate machine has fixed all of the problems. (Corporate minions called university accredited scientists officially attest to the fact.) All questioners, according to Mr. Loxy, are of the same ilk as Mr. Little and the rest of the low life population. (You know, the ones who were educated in corporate sanctioned American schools. They hold a high school diploma and a fifth grade education.) I will have to work hard to keep in mind that there are no longer any famines or plagues? I will rest assured that there are no invasions into foreign lands akin to the Cossack hordes and that there are no longer any inquisitions in the world. (Mr. Loxy has assured me that the war on drugs is not an inquisition, and the assaults of the people of Afghanistan, Iraq, Basque, Tibet, Serbia, Sioux, Maya, Ireland, etc, are not the same as assaults by the Cossack hordes. Mr. Loxy explained to me that Cossack hordes didn’t have uniforms.)

Mr. Loxy, backed by his multi-billion dollar corporate think tank, has been so successful in assuring us that there are no problems, and that it is no longer important to figure out why the cost of butter rose so dramatically last month. It just is. To suggest that the cost of butter is being manipulated by the present power structure in order to maintain control of the masses and enrich their personal fortunes at the expense of the people is unthinkable.

To point out that the grazers of Wall Street control all prices, and that these speculators add at least 40 % to the cost of all commodities, including butterfat, is akin to being swayed by Mr. Little’s irrational thinking. The idea that we all paid 50% more for our butter so that one or two private fortunes could be enlarged is not to be questioned.

Capitalism is of course God's great gift to all people everywhere. How could I have been so wrong? How could I have thought even for an instant that there are problems in the world? Maybe I should just get a business suit and stop bucking the flow. Then I could sing in the chorus with the rest of the white privileged males from upper middle class Amerika.

(Sung to the tune of "Jesus Loves Me")
There are no problems
This we know.
For Mr. Loxy
Tells U.S. so.

Consumers all to
Him belong.
They are weak
But he is strong,

ArMEd 'N dangerous.

I will of course have to apologize to Mother Nature for bothering her with all of my prayers. I now know that there are no problems. The rain forests of the world are safe, Chernobyl and Three mile Island are not harbingers of things to come in a world addicted to money and power, all of Mother's creatures are safe from rampant expansion and exploitation, and all dietary programs approved by the government are safe.

Dr. Mason, not looking for problems, sees no problems. Considering how efficiently Dr. Mason parleyed everyone’s fear of the Gestapo into a diatribe against all alternative thinking, I think he should get the Foxy Loxy award for the year. Of course it is possible that Dr. Mason is not eligible for the award. It is possible that Dr. Mason is Foxy. The letter in the Port of Call just might be damage control churned out by a corporate risk management think tank. I really doubt it, as I have been reading the Port of Call newsletter for about three years, and have seen almost no signs of un-corporate thinking. In fact the voice of the group is so homogeneous that I wonder if it is even safe to say anything. I feel that to do so might get me stoned for heresy. I’m sure its safer for me to just get stoned by myself without this group's help.

Nate Sophael